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Writer's Block: Cold turkey [6/29/1001:34 pm]
Stori
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Have you ever overcome a bad habit? Are there any unhealthy habits you'd like to break?


Smoking. I've only successfully quit cold turkey during my pregnancy. I quit the day I found out I was pregnant, only to start again when I was done breastfeeding. I've been trying and trying to quit since then, but haven't managed to find the willpower yet.
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Day 12 [1/27/1008:09 pm]
Stori
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Day 11 [1/26/1009:12 pm]
Stori
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Day 10 [1/25/1011:50 pm]
Stori
[ |tiredtired]

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Day - A photo I took [1/24/1010:25 pm]
Stori
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Day 8 - A photo that makes me sad. [1/23/1009:14 pm]
Stori
This photo makes me sad because my dad only has 5 years at the most to live. And I find it incredibly hard to think about the fact that he is not going to have the opportunity to watch my son grow up. And even harder to think that he may not even have the chance to meet any future children I may have.

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Day 7 - A photo that makes me happy. [1/22/1010:20 pm]
Stori
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[ |chipperchipper]

This is my favorite picture ever. I crack up every time. Totally worth my husband's ongoing hostility towards it.

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Day 6 - Whatever I want [1/21/1009:27 pm]
Stori
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An old favorite. Nick talking about how he would join the Crips if he could kill someone as opposed to being jumped in. It never gets old.

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Day 5 - Favorite quote. [1/20/1010:27 pm]
Stori
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"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days." -Sylvia Plath
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Day 4 - Favorite book [1/19/1012:18 pm]
Stori
[ |calmcalm]

I could read only this book for the rest of my life.

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Day 3 - Favorite television show [1/18/1012:08 pm]
Stori
[ |blahblah]

Though I can't guarantee that it will remain my favorite after the next season starts airing.

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Day 2 - Favorite Movie [1/17/1011:56 am]
Stori
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A real update. [1/17/1011:41 am]
Stori
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[ |Johnny Cash - Big River]

So I guess it's been awhile, Livejournal. I obsessively check my friend's page, but I haven't been able to make myself type a real entry. So here goes, I suppose.

In early December (the second anniversary of his heart attack to be exact) my father was admitted to the hospital with acute kidney failure. After running a few days worth of tests, they discovered his PSA (prostate specific antigen) was almost 200 when it was supposed to be under 6. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer. After another two long weeks of testing we were told that it had spread and was in his prostate, spine, bones, and lymph nodes. It's considered to be stage VI and completely incurable. They've started him on hormone therapy. Basically it's going to eradicate all of the testosterone in his body since it aids the tumors in spreading. So he's going to be growing breasts and having all the symptoms of menopause. They say depending on how he takes to the treatment he could have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years to live.

It's been awful. I feel like I have completely shut down. I don't want to think about it, and I very rarely want to talk about it. I'm basically choosing to put myself in denial. I went out to Tacoma twice this last week and it was too much to take. He's back in the hospital right now because of a bladder infection. He's lost so much weight and muscle it's scary. My grandma has been back and forth between Tacoma and her home in Seattle every other day. He's so depressed. Which I think is the hardest part. My dad has always has an amazingly hopeful outlook on everything in his life. He came out of his heart attack with a smile. So to see him so defeated is the most difficult thing ever. When his new doctor told him that he probably won't be able to urinate properly again and he'll be on pain medication everyday for the rest of his life he was fighting back tears. I've only seen my dad cry twice in my life. I can't handle this.

In other shitty news, soon after finding out about my dad my apartment flooded. We live in a house that has been converted into three apartments. The water heater in the unit above us burst and flooded the whole house. We had 48 hours to move. Luckily our landlady found us a place owned by a friend of hers. The place is a total shit hole. Cigarette burns in the carpet, scrub marks all over the walls, outlets are broken, the fan and drain in the bathroom were ripped out, no heater guards on the heater in the baby's room, and the whole place was dirty. Gross. We've been here almost 2 months now. They supposedly going to be done with our place in about a month. I can't wait to get out of here.

The only real good thing I have right now is my family. My husband has been amazing throughout all of this. Even when I'm being a moody bitch and refusing to talk to him. Elliott is HUGE. He's almost 8 months now, but he's wearing 18 month clothes. He recently learned how to crawl, click his tongue, blow raspberries, and climb over the bottom of the computer chair to get behind the desk to all the cords he's not supposed to touch. He has two teeth and is eating whole gain cereal pieces along with his pureed baby foods. So weird how fast it all seems to be going. I started going through some of his baby clothes awhile back and I don't know how he ever fit into them. He just keeps getting cuter and cuter, too. He looks different to me every day.

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