| (no subject) |
[12/30/0910:21 pm] |
someone come pry me away from the laptop and turn off my computer, i'm obsessing on a level that is borderline unhealthy. |
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| Dream fragment |
[12/29/0912:02 pm] |
Fragment one
I remember in this portion that I am in my family room, and sitting on the couch, watching some outrageous tv show. I glance over my shoulder and see a light streaking outside through the sliding glass door. It looked rather like a car's headlight. I remember," hey, there's no road access in my backyard. it's a backyard with grass, trees and a fence!"
I go out and investigate. I see some hovering eyeball with a light on it. I scream at it for some reason.
I don't know why I have a tendency to act feral in the face of something that bewilders me.
It turns around and begins to approach. I run indoors and make a dash for my bedroom. "My sword... got to make it to my sword" I remember thinking.
I now realize that a sword would probably be pretty useless against a higher intelligence, who has probably mastered energy based projectiles or something crazy like that.
a pure white light blazes outside, flooding my house with luminescence. I hear a noise. I immediately think "oh shit, they're beaming into my house!"
and they do. or it does. singular. one alien dude, with a space suite-looking armor type garment thing. I hiss and bare my fangs and claws at it.
I don't know why I have the tendency to act feral in the face of something that threatens me. maybe it's to make him think," huh, no sign of intelligent life here. just some animals."
"Hey now, settle down. I'm not here to probe you or anything"
"Not even a little?"
"Not at all. I just want tea. and maybe a place to stay"
and that's how I became roommates with an extra terrestrial. I even got to use this huge mothership-from-Independence-Day looking starship to go to the grocery store.
Second fragment
Everyone from my Sears workplace lives in my house. it was hell. everywhere I turned, my boss was there. a supervisor in my laundry room. the sales staff in my garage and everyone, even the staff that didn't smoke IRL, was smoking. the merchandise processing/receiving crew was just chillin' in my family room
I wanted to burn down my house. |
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| Drop Everything, Start It All Over... |
[12/28/0912:53 am] |
| [ | |
| |  irritated | ] |
| [ | |
| | Finch "Perfection Through Silence" | ] |
I'm so damn tired of being the guy that puts himself out on the line, only to be passed over, or left hanging. I've played that role for as long as I can remember. I'm sick of chasing girls who only occasionally turn to acknowledge my existence. I'm done chasing. It's too much work, time, and effort that's never worth it in the end. I'm not sure of it's just the ones I'm attracted to, or if I'm just destined to be the puppy dog who can't stop chasing cars. But this pup's growing up. (This hasn't always been the case in every relationship I've had though. For example, when I was with Jamie or with Sophia it was pretty mutual from the start if I remember right and those were really great most of the time) I suppose I'm just sick of blindly playing the guessing game that comes with trying to get someone to date me. I'm sick of trying to read the mixed signals and getting all worked up at night trying piece together in my head how someone feels about me. Honestly, if some one really wants to be with me, they'll let me know, they'll make it clear, and they'll find a way to make it work. I don't why I never realized this sooner... Well I guess this is growing up. |
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| (no subject) |
[12/24/0911:08 pm] |
And when Santa squeezes his fat ass down the chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. |
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| (no subject) |
[12/24/0901:08 pm] |
Officially done with Christmas. New Years plz?
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go Edward gluhwein hands this shit into the 26th. |
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| Jon Hopkins gives me gifts of understanding. |
[12/20/0902:43 pm] |
I went for a walk today, and while I walked I began to notice things, and analyze them.
I've been studying science nearly nonstop for two months now. My understanding of the natural world has increased a good amount, and while I still have a long way to go, I was able to look around and understand the mechanisms in place that created the world I was walking through.
It started as I was staring at a puddle, and looking at the ripples. As I watched them, I began thinking of wave motion, and how waves interact with each other. I then looked up at the sky, and understood how clouds occur, and why rain happens. And then as I walked, I saw some leaves rotting on the ground into the soil, and a pinwheel spinning, and the blue color of the sky above. And for a moment, everything was a system I could understand.
It was in this moment that I achieved a sort of wondrous peace I only dream of, where the world is understood, and all the systems in it make sense, even if only on a superficial level. And I understood why I must become a science teacher, even if this sensation is a gift enough.
There is beauty in the systems of this world. My focus is biology- I love how life works, the cycles, the systems, and all the amazing little variations that make it such a wonderful thing. I love spiders and viruses and RNA and protein and nerve cells and photosynthesis and fungi, and I want to share this amazing world with others. This is such a huge, amazing world, full of fascinating lifeforms and pseudolifeforms, and people barely blink at them. But when you know what's going on, and really think about it, this whole life thing we've got on this planet is freaking amazing. There's probably life elsewhere, as it seems to me that if life is possible, it is inevitable, but we've done so incredibly well on this planet that I just go mad with the excitement.
In any case, I have to study stuff now. Today, I'll study geology and meteorology, two of my least favorite sciences, but hopefully I'll make some progress and get a good enough understanding of them for the WEST exam so I don't have to worry about them anymore. In any case, science rules.
Germboy, out/Peace. |
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| (no subject) |
[12/17/0912:34 pm] |
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I hate the picky toddler phase. Im so used to him just inhaling everything in site that this whole "I dont wanna eat this even though I ate it yesterday" shit is making me go o.0 I figured out that I have to serve his food in stages. Meats and beans first, and then veggies and sides. Cause if he gets it all at once he just eats his veggies and sides and throws the main dish on the floor. He's a weird kid. |
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